You HAVE to see Le Manoir De Paris!

Lemanoirdeparis_logoIt was a mystery to me how I managed to miss Le Manoir De Paris, but I just opened a Wikipedia page and realized they’re pretty young, as in, they opened in 2011.

In November, right after Halloween, two of my friends and I sat on a plane, planning our Paris trip on our way over there. The inevitable contact with the in-flight magazine came, and since it was Halloween just a week or two before, we found an article about the scariest places you can visit in Europe. One of them was Le Manoir De Paris, a scary show in a “haunted manor” in Paris 10. “Scaring begins while you’re waiting in line” was enough for horror enthusiasts like ourselves.

From that moment on, there was no doubt that WE WERE GOING, the only thing left to be decided was when. However, since 2015 had only three Friday 13th, and it just so happened that the last one was coming WHILE we were in Paris, there were no arguments about the date. Especially after we read that Le Manoir De Paris calls it “The Dark Night” (super satisfying!) and there was going to be a special show.

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Photo from “Le Manoir De Paris” Facebook page

One starts freaking out as soon as one gets in line. Comforting ourselves that it can’t be that scary and that when it’s THAT scary, they make you sign stuff, we went just in front of the door decorated with what was supposed to be bodily fluids and a very, very dead body.

And then a girl came to us. She was nice. She spoke poor French, butย she was showing us this little… document.

“Please sign this before you enter,” she says.

“What does it say?” we ask, because we don’t understand legal French.

“Well, you know, this is a special show,” she begins in her broken French, “it’s Dark Night and this says that you agree that our actors–”

“Can touch us,” we conclude.

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Le Manoir De Paris Facebook Page

Well, goodbye cruel world.

Walking past the very dead body, we found the line. The line lasts for an hour maybe, but you don’t care. You’re being careful not to get killed by this nerve-wrecking Jason (Friday The 13th) lookalike, and you most definitely don’t want to piss off this crazy doctor with festering wounds on his face that is so keen on looking inside your soul. Oh, I dared to take out a mirror and check on my make-up. He did not like that. He also pinned my friend to a wall and started poking at the wall with a screwdriver as fast and hard as he could.

But one gets used to it. You try to ignore your shrinking bladder and look at him intently to realize he kind of looks like Johnny Depp under all that blood and crazy. You comfort yourself.

Until you enter the dark night.

I’m not going to tell you what’s inside on a Friday The 13th show, and you can see on their website what shows you can enjoy on regular days. I know I’ll go back there to see the regular shows, because they can be in English and they cover the Paris legends, all the while scaring you to death, but they don’t touch you.

They only touch you on Dark Night.

If you grew up with horror movies and books, if you like Freddie Kruger and Hotel 626 thrilled you, please just go and enjoyย this. I promise you will. Paris is romantic, true, but these people are doing an excellent job for a Woody Allen fan, who also happens to love Dylan Dog.

This is their website.

This their Facebook page.

This is their address.

This is my Facebook page ๐Ÿ˜€

And this is the Phantom:

Also, if Le Manoir is looking for actors, this is zombie me.

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